The Shadow Self: Rollercoaster of Life

Riding the Rollercoaster of Life



During my meditation, the Divine and my Higher Self both provided me with a deeper insight into emotions and the rollercoaster of life.  As you read this you may notice similarities between the insights shared with me and the Buddhist philosophy.  In a way, today’s meditation connected me deeper to the Buddhist philosophy regarding suffering.  Since I have had the privilege and opportunity to experience multiple Buddhist retreats and will be attending a university rooted in Buddhist philosophy this fall, it seems very fitting to have this explained to me using similar parallels.

Recently, some of my conversations were centered around positive and negative emotions and experiences as well as other polarity/duality topics.  Last week, I read an article regarding the evolution of Earth towards the 5th dimension.  Unfortunately, I cannot locate the article at this time.  In this article, the author discussed emotional pollution.  The author defined emotional pollution as experiencing negative emotions such as depression.  The author suggested through these negative experiences we directly affect those around us; thereby, making emotional pollution a criminal offense in the 5th-dimensional version of Earth.

After reading this article, I recalled an episode of Charmed in which the Charmed Ones worked with the Avatars to create a utopian world.  In this world, any individual creating negative circumstances was immediately plucked from society.  It didn’t feel authentic, and luckily, the sisters—or rather the writers—brought forward a similar understanding.  

In addition to the article and the tv show, I also had conversations with other individuals.  The understanding garnered through those conversations included the need for wars and negative experiences to create societal, personal, and spiritual growth.  The challenge for me was to apply this information to my own understanding of evolution and authenticity.

Atrocities Created by Humans and Mother Earth


First, I would like to address the need for wars and devastating acts of terrorism and natural events such as hurricanes, tsunamis, and earthquakes.  While it is true that our country, and even the rest of the world, historically united in the face of these atrocities, would these events truly be necessary in a 5th-dimensional world? 

I, personally, do not believe it to be true.  While negative events do serve a purpose, the Great Awakening assumes that we would gladly work with each other, show compassion and empathy, and all be dedicated to serving a higher purpose for the greater good.  Therefore, we would not need these devastating atrocities to learn how to work together—to bring our attention to the issues that we have long since repressed.  An evolution of this magnitude, in my opinion, would require us to acknowledge and address these outstanding issues (racism, sexism, elitism, desecration of our resources, disconnection from all living beings, etc) and work through them in a healthy manner as part of this awakening.  Thereby, creating a universal shift—a global awakening and the release of societal karma.

Personal Traumas

Is it possible to navigate life without any form of trauma, pain, and sadness?

Secondly, regarding personal evolution, is it possible to navigate life without any form of trauma, pain, and sadness…even in the 5th-dimensional world?  During my meditation, I came to understand the answer to be no.  It would not be completely possible to evade these uncomfortable emotions and remain authentic.  How many souls out there plan to live out eternity on Earth?  I, for one, have absolutely no desire to remain on Earth.  My own personal exploration has involved many lifetimes exploring various star systems as well as on Earth.  My soul is an explorer—I seek to experience to understand.  Is this my physical body talking or a deeper understanding of my Higher Self?  I created a chart that revealed this tendency to explore and to experience.  It’s all part of my evolution—or ascension—to teach, to mentor, and to help others awaken…in their own way.  

A very long explanation to lead to an obvious issue—there will be death, which on its own does create sorrow—even if you are willing to understand the nature of the cycle of life.  In a world where emotional pollution is a serious offense, how do you navigate these treacherous waters in a healthy manner?  It has taken me, in an unawakened state, several years to grieve my mom’s passing—to fully experience all stages of grief.  Some literature suggests 45 days.  Those who take longer than 3 months to grieve may be diagnosed with Adjustment Disorder.  However grief manifests for the individual, to remain authentic, one should be allowed the time and space to truly grieve and release.  A world devoid of this understanding and allowance, in my opinion, would not be healthy.


Which brings me to emotions, suffering, and impermanence.  The Buddha taught that all things are impermanent—our lives, our emotions, our jobs, our relationships, etc.  The Buddha helps understand our internal relationship to suffering by introducing the concept of attachments and clinging.  Arguably, conceptual differences exist between psychology’s understanding of healthy attachments and the Buddha’s use of the word.  In psychology, a healthy attachment is essentially (and simply) a healthy relationship with parents, children, friends, co-workers, etc.  There’s a balance—a symbiotic relationship—between Self and others.  

In Buddhism, attachments refer to clinging to ideas, emotions, objects, and basically any impermanent manifestation.  When we desire a mansion but can only afford a one-bedroom apartment, this may create suffering.  When we wish with all our hearts to be with a certain individual and nothing we do will bring this into manifestation, this may create suffering.  When we cling to life in the very throes of death, this, too, creates suffering. 

How do we avoid suffering?  We don’t.  To avoid ideas, emotions, and desires is to create inauthenticity and a shadow that remains unfulfilled.  But if it’s not okay to desire, it’s not okay to create shadows, it’s not okay to want to live or to want someone else to live, it’s not okay to want something better…what can I do?

Sit.  You can sit. 

But what does that even mean? 


It’s not—not okay to do any of those things—it’s how we process them that can be harmful or helpful.  When we sit with these emotions and desires, we acknowledge them and allow them to be as they are in this moment.  We befriend our negative experiences.  We befriend our suffering.  We befriend our shadows.  And through this friendship—this healthy relationship with Self—we garner the wisdom to release and let go.


Authenticity requires us to know ourselves in the most intimate manner—the good, the bad, and the neutral.  For some—okay most—this is a very scary proposition.  What about that kinky thing you want to do with your boss—or with that married individual?  What about the desire to wish someone dead in the heat of the moment?  What about the secret desire every time you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror?  What about coveting someone else’s mansion, expensive cars, and famous life?  What about the rage, the loneliness, the pride, the jealousy, and the sorrow?

According to Carl Jung, we all have shadow selves.  When we ignore and repress these desires they become our shadow, which grows stronger the longer we refuse to acknowledge these deep desires.  It’s natural to feel ashamed—and it’s part of our programming.  In essence, shame is a shadow we all share.  We’ve been told from day one not to do this or be that person.  Yet, every now and again, it pops up as if an imp, or trickster, laughing at us—but really, it’s our Shadow Self laughing and growing stronger the longer we ignore and push it aside.  


Befriending our shadow asks us to acknowledge and show compassion for these dark and unfulfilled desires.  But they aren’t always dark, murderous secrets.  They can include positive things like becoming an author, a famous dancer, an activist—anything we once dreamed of becoming but never had the courage to follow through.  And so shadow work asks us to acknowledge these repressed dreams as well.

When we acknowledge and befriend our shadow, we do not get caught up in the duality and polarity of the desire.  We do not pass judgment—even though it may be extremely difficult at times.  We seek to understand the origin of that desire—be it good or bad.  Perhaps you find yourself repressing your lazy side because all your life you’ve been programmed to always be busy—idle hands are the devil’s work.  By befriending your lazy shadow, you recognize that it’s okay to have a day off to do absolutely nothing, which, incidentally, allows you time to take care of yourself.  Perhaps the rage concealed within murderous thoughts is unexpressed anger towards childhood—or even adulthood—experiences.  It doesn’t mean you should go out and murder someone, but by acknowledging this rage—the bare bones of this emotion—you can work with it in a healthy manner that allows you to speak your truth instead of allowing others to speak for you.


When we sit with our emotions and desires, we don’t get wrapped up in them and ride the rollercoaster on a never-ending loop.  We sit on the mountain of strength and allow these things to be as they truly are—we acknowledge and explore their lessons and allow them to dissipate as they feel ready to be released.  We do this in our own time and our own way—not because we have to or need to in order to evolve—but because that is our authentic self—our whole self.

This Great Awakening—our own spiritual awakening—has to happen in our own way as well.  While I subscribe to the idea that living fear-based is not healthy and only allows others to control us, I also understand that certain fear-based reactions are important for survival.  While I understand survival-mode has its place in specific circumstances, "thrival-mode" allows us to see and welcome in abundance.  But not everyone is there, just yet.  I’m not even fully connected to this understanding and yet I've been called to write this blog. 

It’s a process and it must happen authentically—otherwise, we’re creating a world that’s no different than the world in which we currently live.  We must allow others to have the space to realize and acknowledge the existence of negative influences in their own time, so they, too, may come to understand their own relationship to these influences, and in a healthy manner, allow them to dissipate and to evolve.

If we are to live in a 5th-dimensional world full of rainbows, butterflies, and roses, it must happen in an authentic way for each individual and for society as a whole.  We cannot gloss over negative experiences and expect others to automatically think positive.  While I believe in the power of positive thinking and creating the life I truly want and the world I desire, it’s counterproductive and counterintuitive to force others to adopt this philosophy—especially when they have so many shadows that have been ignored for centuries and centuries.

But what about Dark Beings?

Lastly, we should not be so ready to give up on those who cling so strongly to the fear-based and control-based society in which we currently live.  While we are not directly responsible for their personal and spiritual growth, we must lead by example.  We must continue to show compassion and empathy to these leaders, friends, and foes—in an authentic and safe way.  They deserve a chance to evolve their way of life just as much as we do—and it cannot be forced.

These dark beings also have been given the opportunity to evolve into light beings.  No one is stuck in a horrible loop—in hell, so-to-speak—except for by choice. 

I leave you with something that came through as I channeled my Guides during a celestial healing session yesterday:  the Source, God/dess, Creator, Great Spirit, the Divine created dark beings as well as light beings to inhabit the various planets and realms.  As some may already be aware, they are just as important in our own personal spiritual growth as our connection to our Higher Selves and/or to a Higher Power.  These dark beings also have been given the opportunity to evolve into light beings.  No one is stuck in a horrible loop—in hell, so-to-speak—except for by choice. 

If you do not resonate with this wisdom that was shared with me, that is okay.  It is not part of your understanding and your truth.  I respect that and ask for you to respect that it is part of mine.

Additionally, I did not include a bibliography for two reasons: I have a B.A. in psychology and was Divinely guided while drafting this blog.  I did, however, highlight specific keywords for additional research and/or confirmation of my understanding of these concepts.

There are many ways, many truths, and many paths.  We are all blessed to have this freedom of thought, love, and understanding.

Many, many blessings,


Creative Commons License

Transformational Series: The Shadow Self by Adryanna Kenna Sadge is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.